SCHEMES IN MODERN PARENTING

FLODA RELTIH’S
SCHEMES IN MODERN PARENTING

I. PARENTING 101: EFFECTIVE MANIPULATION SKILLS
Fear, guilt, lying, and the carrot are the primary tools for effective manipulation. If one were to write a best selling book on parenting, then it would have to be about the truth instead of some periodically used concept. Just get to the core of the moment. Most likely the kids have always been a mistake. There is no sense in beating yourself up over it. There are really good opportunities for you to make the best of it. Those kids can be used. Later on in life, they may make excellent slaves. Yet in order to properly train them, you must start early. One might as well accept this fact of life. Most likely, the parenting books are useless because eventually the parents will put their hands up and quit. Buying the damn book was nothing more than a domestic lawyer trick. You were looking for loopholes while trying to cover the fact that you really do not care. Some honesty is in order. On those rare occasions when honesty is required, then run with it. Quitting is easy and that is why so many people do it, except for smokers of course.

Your kids will turn out to be imbeciles because they will wind up imitating you. Since you probably have no ambition to change from being a selfish pig, you might as well run with it. What people really want in these books is how to get more bang for the buck. They do not want to try too hard, if at all. The truth is, they are just looking for permission to either coast or fake it. Their secret dream is to continue with the hedonistic behavior that knocked them up in the first place. Please notice that I said them and not her. Always include the dad in matters that have gone awry. It makes you look progressive and it also undermines his authority. Television has been doing it for years, so it must be right.

II. PARENTING 201: HITLER AND EUGENICS
Children break into this world because one has knocked-up their current or rented paramour. Do not panic. Most of the human race is a mistake. Abortions are not for everyone except for super-models and those who truly do not wish to be bothered. You are probably like most people and therefore you have stalled and fidgeted until it is too late. The bread is already in the oven and there is no way that you can do ten years of drinking before your little angel enters this world. How shall you ever raise a child and still do whatever you wish in circumstances like this?

One must look to Hitler. Hitler had no children. That makes him an expert because he has an objective view of things. Hitler understood that it was all about him. Since he is the model, then you must adopt that approach. It is not egocentric, it is approachable and pragmatic. If something happens to you, then who shall raise that child? Your parents were a disaster because look how you turned out, yet they are free if you need a back-up.
You can always tell when a good thing occurs because of its timing and placement. Right now in this world, passive-aggressive behavior, manipulation, lying, and everyone in their ego-centric domains is not only acceptable, it is also the rage that goes unnoticed. That is good, because if everyone did not do this, then your approach to child rearing may stand out. It may even be construed as evil. Fortunately, humanity has fallen for so far, for so long, that we have all become blind, calloused, and numb. You will fit right in.

Manipulating your children is the secret to every suburban home. In fact, it entered the suburbs, became perfected, and then re-entered the world. No one ever noticed that modifications had been made to this golden form of psychosis. Yet with Hitler at your helm, you can make exponential leaps. Try to steer them in the right direction while making little effort as possible.

III. MANIPULATION 101: THE RULES OF JUDO AND EFFECTIVE DECEIT
The secret to this miracle form of child rearing is comprised of a few components. Lying is an absolute necessity. So is making yourself appear perfect in the process. What makes this work so well is that you can say one thing and do another. Should your motives or anything be questioned, you may detract such questions through a number of means. The most effective means is to rebound their comments back unto themselves. A subtle re-framing of their words will make them feel like the enemy. If one needs practice or advice on technique, then consult your lawyer. Layers do this for a living.

Whatever it is that you were caught doing should be deflected back on them to instill guilt. There are many ways to reinforce the notion that it really is their fault. Guilt always seems to deflate them and that will stun them long enough for you to slip whatever semi-hypnotic suggestion that you wish to implant in their perilously malleable brains. The more that they are exposed to this form of behavior, the easier that it will become a way of life for them and you. Remember, guilt is your friend as long as someone else is carrying it for you. Children are young and strong and they are quite adept for this feat.

(To be continued…)

1 FLODA RELTIH’S
SCHEMES IN MODERN PARENTING 1.1
OO9 VEX THEORIA

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